What’s wrong with me?
by endangeredgirl
The minute there was any possibility, any future I got bored.
I loved the chase, even though I gave into this one, he wasn’t the brightest.
And now… just like the last time, and the time before
I like someone else, and I don’t know how to break it too him.
We’ve kissed, and he’s talked about kissing more.
But he’s not a good kisser.
And his personality now annoys me.
How come before it intrigued me?
Every time I tell myself,
You wanna know what? You don’t need butterflies every time.
But that’s a lie. you do
I faked the butterflies and now I’m left with a mess I’m afraid to clean up.
Now I have eyes for someone who’ve I’ve only had a conversation once.
He is my superior, by two years.
Far out of my league…
but he gave me his jacket
does that mean something?
OH IT KILLS ME
Not him, or either of them, but the fact I can’t be happy with something I can have.
It happened to my mother and I thought I was different.
It happened to my sister and I thought I was different.
I don’t want to be a virgin at 20.
But I don’t want to give it away too someone I’ve moved on from.
I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it
There is nothing wrong with you that does not put you in the same category as many of us who face the same issue. The chase is entirely in your control and you are not invested emotionally, while anything beyond that creates a sense of vulnerability. All I can offer is that if you keep at it, perhaps eventually it will be worth it.
Losing your virginity isn’t a race, or a test… It’s yours to do what you want. You don’t owe it, to anyone. And as far as being happy, in the end, true happiness comes from the relationship you have with yourself… Anything else is just the cherry on top of life… Not the point of life.
Let go of pressure in all regards… It’s useless… And don’t bother comparing yourself to others, even your relatives… Explore who you are, and allow yourself to do so.
Enjoy Life, but respect it’s powerful nature as well
DJ-